That’s my second favorite in that book. Right now, with how I feel..I think it’s my first.
I just got off spring break. I think every day I told myself I should start working on my Child. Book homework again and I haven’t budged. No shit. But I am halfway through reading Catcher In the Rye again. Yea, how productive. And of course, I’m sure somebody’s rolling their eyes because, ugh man that’s everyone favorite book right? It is for a reason. And a damn good one.
Ace. My English teacher made me love it.
My diet change has been slightly bumpy this Spring break, but I’ve also done a whooping nothing special, seriously. Nothing. But I can’t forget the fact I lost a good old 6 pounds in a week and a half.
You never really realize how awesome your friends are until you’re available. I’m being sarcastic. But on top of this, everyone has been holding their breath and squealing and getting worried because I’ve been trying to change my diet. I know I’ve always been skinny, as in skinny build. I never once said “I’m a fat fuck, I need to stop eating. Period.” I’ve said nothing of the sort. All I’ve said is “I’m sick of feeling unhealthy, I’m changing my diet.”. A number of times my parents have confronted me without saying upfront, but it’s so god damn clear they think I’m throwing up in the bathrooms. I’ve never given them a reason to believe that. Also, some of my friends flip the fuck out when I say I’m trying to “diet”. Ugh. I know it’s in everyone’s system to go “Nooo, you’re not fat at all! STOP IT YOU’RE PERFECT!” to even their biggest whale of a friend, but I know they think that I am “dieting” because I must have a problem as I am so fucking perfect. Totally not doing it to be comfortable in my skin and to be healthy. No one is perfect, and I’m sorry I’m taking control and getting in shape. Woah. This pressure of them constantly crying about the fact that I’m not eating everything I feel like actually makes me feel awkward. Then everyone goes off and downs a pizza.
Whatever. It’s their body not mine and I feel like, I really just want to be able to rock a swimsuit and alsoo..I need to start thinking about modeling or some shit because I really need some fucking money. And I’m tall and skinny.
Anyway, I should be writing an essay right now but I don’t give a rat’s ass. It’s depressing, my lack of motivation. I’ve never been this bad..but when you hate the shit out of your fucking school-does shit to you. I’m just in one big evil rut. I mean, all the art I’ve posted here is about a year old. My style has changed drastically. Fuck, oh well. Whatever.
I’m just looking forward to summer. When I won’t have to smile at my teachers and pretend I like the big ugly pieces of crap I just passed in.
On top of that, I feel relived to have decided to drop the event that was planned but uh, I haven’t gotten in touch with the person who invited me. Which is a problem. And I don’t have a cellphone still so it’s just annoying. I really don’t want to go, I mean let’s face it. I’m a fucking Debbie downer at this point in my life. I’m just a pass and go. I’m not communicating with people and having tons of super de duper fun this year because I can’t. I have to focus on school, homework, and jobs as well as pleasing everyone in my family. Last thing I need is to be surrounded by stupid fat people when even just…the simplest obnoxious “omggrimhowisyou8(” all the time when I’m even the slightest bit upset pisses me off. I’m not a ticking time bomb, I don’t need to be smothered.
Jesus, I can’t really ever make a post these days that are positive. Okay…
I’m a shoe in for a summer job.
Ta dah.
Also, lower case Is are the ugliest letters ever.
